Photo: Juliana Coutinho
The science of kissing ~ fetichises necking so
(by Robert Jordan)
Friday, July 31, 2015
Coast Guard ending search for Florida teen boaters; private hunt continues
(CNN)
Florida teenagers Austin Stephanos and Perry Cohen = End long hunt after disappearance in the sea. So sorry!
Photo: Scott Ableman
Florida teenagers Austin Stephanos and Perry Cohen = End long hunt after disappearance in the sea. So sorry!
(by Jason Lofts)
Vladimir Putin 'ordered killing', Litvinenko inquiry hears
(BBC)
An "increasingly isolated tinpot despot" and a "morally deranged authoritarian" = A dictator allegedly arranged spy's irradiation at tea in London. Shame on Putin!
Photo: Gwydion M Williams
An "increasingly isolated tinpot despot" and a "morally deranged authoritarian" = A dictator allegedly arranged spy's irradiation at tea in London. Shame on Putin!
(by Jason Lofts)
Lion-killing dentist Walter Palmer
(Daily Mail)
Minnesota dentist and hunter Walter Palmer = Patent murder! Man ensnared that lion, slew it.
Photo: Vince O'Sullivan
Minnesota dentist and hunter Walter Palmer = Patent murder! Man ensnared that lion, slew it.
(by Jason Lofts)
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Fat should be classified as 'sixth taste' alongside the five others, say US scientists
(The Daily Telegraph)
Photo: David Masters
|
Flavors: 1. Sweet 2. Sour 3. Bitter 4. Salty 5. Umami and 6. Oleogustus | = |
1. Sugar 2. Tart 3. Bile (unsettles some) 4. Sodium 5. Savoury 6. Fat (low) |
(by Julian Lofts)
American Hunter Killed Cecil, Beloved Lion That Was Lured Out of Its Sanctuary
(The New York Times)
Photo: Rob D
| The Circle of Life (from the Lion King musical) From the day we arrive on this planet And blinking, step into the sun There's more to see than can ever be seen More to do than can ever be done There is far too much to take in here More to find than can ever be found But the sun rolling high Through the sapphire sky Keeps great and small on the endless round It's the circle of life And it moves us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love Till we find our place On the path unwinding In the circle The circle of life It's the circle of life And it moves us all Through despair and hope Through faith and love Till we find our place On the path unwinding In the circle The circle of life | = | Cecil The Lion Cecil the African lion, supposedly protected in his game park. Hunters lured him to his death with fresh meat. Walter Palmer, the dentist from Minnesota, the 'brave hunter', He had perfect, ultra-bright teeth. Cecil the marvellous lion Killed by a puffed up dentist With longbow and arrows. This 'valorous' vainglorious gaffe Confronting, frightening The vulnerable lion. Sentence offenders! Hang the demon felon! Fee-fie-fo-fuck him! Cecil the African lion Roared in pain, Pierced through His heart. Cecil the lion's Decapitated And skinned. Arrgghh! Tourists liked Cecil the lion. People - save the lions, Value them in future. Hold on Never hunt To the death. Oh no! Oh no! Oh no! |
(by Julian Lofts)
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
NASA discovers new planet for cricket
(ESPNcricinfo)
NASA discovers new planet for cricket = S.African scored - now pick start eleven.
Photo: Richard Ellis
NASA discovers new planet for cricket = S.African scored - now pick start eleven.
(by Mark McNamara)
Monday, July 27, 2015
Can infidelity rekindle a relationship?
(The Times of India)
Can infidelity rekindle a relationship = Liar is keen to philander infinitely! Cad!
Photo: Daniel Horacio Agostini
Can infidelity rekindle a relationship = Liar is keen to philander infinitely! Cad!
(by Mark McNamara)
Obama tells BBC that UK should stay in European Union
(BBC)
President Barack Obama says UK should stay in the EU|I daresay, but that\'s our business pal, okay? Damn cheek!
Photo: Number 10
President Barack Obama says UK should stay in the EU|I daresay, but that\'s our business pal, okay? Damn cheek!
(by Tony Crafter)
Obama calls GOP criticism of Iran deal 'ridiculous' 'sad'
(Seattle Post-Intelligencer)
Obama calls GOP criticism of Iran deal 'ridiculous' 'sad' = "I add: Crass Republicans! A grim odious comical lot fail!"
Photo: Steve Jurvetson
Obama calls GOP criticism of Iran deal 'ridiculous' 'sad' = "I add: Crass Republicans! A grim odious comical lot fail!"
(by Maurice Goddard)
Chris Froome fuming after having 'urine' thrown in his face amid accusations of doping at Tour de France
(Daily Mail)
Christopher Froome wins the Tour de France again|Sad Frenchies throw urine at a foreign ectomorph
Photo: Jaguar Mena
Christopher Froome wins the Tour de France again|Sad Frenchies throw urine at a foreign ectomorph
(by Jason Lofts)
Sunday, July 26, 2015
English lord in sordid sex scandal
(The New Zealand Herald)
"The actions of a few damage our reputation," wrote Lord Sewel. "Scandals make good headlines." = 'Esteemed' peer flaunted law snorting coke with whores. A salacious oaf, a moron, addled goat!
"The actions of a few damage our reputation," wrote Lord Sewel. "Scandals make good headlines." = 'Esteemed' peer flaunted law snorting coke with whores. A salacious oaf, a moron, addled goat!
(by Julian Lofts)
David Cameron pledges to save Britain's public loos
(The Daily Telegraph)
David Cameron pledges to save Britain's public loos = O! It's a bravo over PM's 'Gents and Ladies Occupied Bill'!
Photo: Joel Telling
David Cameron pledges to save Britain's public loos = O! It's a bravo over PM's 'Gents and Ladies Occupied Bill'!
(by Maurice Goddard)
Spelman College discontinues professorship funded by Cosbys
(CNN)
The William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship at Spelman College = Cancelled, as black donor is an evil lying male rapist: doom himself. We oppose his wealth.
Photo: PROTed Eytan
The William and Camille Olivia Hanks Cosby Endowed Professorship at Spelman College = Cancelled, as black donor is an evil lying male rapist: doom himself. We oppose his wealth.
(by Rosie Perera)
Friday, July 24, 2015
Thursday, July 23, 2015
Bill Cosby's 1970s anti-drug album for kids: "Say no to pills"
(Washington Post)
"Hi, this is Bill Cosby. I'd like you to pay close attention to this album because it's very important. We're going to talk about amphetamines, cocaine, depressants, barbiturates, opiates, alcohol, tobacco, hallucinogens." - Introduction to the album "Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs," that won him a Grammy for Best Recording for Children. = This mad old black US comedian's got to admit it - he's a most blatant, brutish, incorrigible rapist!^^A classic short instruction manual:^^A. Take out a nubile, bosomy young babe to the Playboy Mansion^B. Give two or three prescribed pills to her to chill out^C. Take off all the babe's clothes^D. Stick your todger (penis) in, rut away, come incognito ...
"Hi, this is Bill Cosby. I'd like you to pay close attention to this album because it's very important. We're going to talk about amphetamines, cocaine, depressants, barbiturates, opiates, alcohol, tobacco, hallucinogens." - Introduction to the album "Bill Cosby Talks to Kids About Drugs," that won him a Grammy for Best Recording for Children. = This mad old black US comedian's got to admit it - he's a most blatant, brutish, incorrigible rapist!^^A classic short instruction manual:^^A. Take out a nubile, bosomy young babe to the Playboy Mansion^B. Give two or three prescribed pills to her to chill out^C. Take off all the babe's clothes^D. Stick your todger (penis) in, rut away, come incognito ...
(by Jason Lofts)
Wednesday, July 22, 2015
Online sperm buying proves to be a big hit in China
(The Times of India)
Online sperm buying proves to be a big hit in China = Her big linchpin be obtaining your semen via post
Photo: Colville-Andersen
Online sperm buying proves to be a big hit in China = Her big linchpin be obtaining your semen via post
(by Mark McNamara)
US Novelist E.L. Doctorow dies at 84
(BBC)
The US novelist Edgar Lawrence Doctorow has died = Death hit aged world-renowned creative colossus
Art: Arturo Espinosa
The US novelist Edgar Lawrence Doctorow has died = Death hit aged world-renowned creative colossus
(by Julian Lofts)
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Stephen Hawking backs new initiative to find life beyond Earth
(MSNBC)
Stephen Hawking backs new initiative to find life beyond Earth = I ask: Whatever kind, we can't be alone in the big depths of infinity?
Photo: MIKI Yoshihito
Stephen Hawking backs new initiative to find life beyond Earth = I ask: Whatever kind, we can't be alone in the big depths of infinity?
(by Maurice Goddard)
Cuba Reopens US Embassy After Five Decades
(Yahoo! News)
Cuba Reopens US Embassy After Five Decades = Act's sure paved, because "foes may be friends".
Cuba Reopens US Embassy After Five Decades = Act's sure paved, because "foes may be friends".
(by Maurice Goddard)
Monday, July 20, 2015
Infidelity site Ashley Madison hacked as attackers demand total shutdown
(The Guardian)
Notorious infidelity sites Ashley Madison, Cougar Life and Established Men are hacked = A sinister foe is leaking raunchy details of shady men, lies, deceit and houris too - bedlam!
Illustration: Eric Almendral
Notorious infidelity sites Ashley Madison, Cougar Life and Established Men are hacked = A sinister foe is leaking raunchy details of shady men, lies, deceit and houris too - bedlam!
(by Julian Lofts)
Shark attacks Australian surfer Mick Fanning during live competition
(Stuff.co.nz)
The Australian surfer Mick Fanning = Fin, attack, rush, run. Man regains life! ^
Photo: Rian Castillo
The Australian surfer Mick Fanning = Fin, attack, rush, run. Man regains life! ^
(by Aronas Pinchas)
Hackers threaten to release names from adultery website
(CNN)
Hackers threaten to release names from adultery website = See wife make error, cheat on husband, later...steamy letters.
Photo: Pascal
Hackers threaten to release names from adultery website = See wife make error, cheat on husband, later...steamy letters.
(by Rosie Perera)
Donald promises America a new 'do' if it makes him president: Trump reveals he will ditch his infamous hair style in the White House - because comb-over takes too much time to maintain
(Daily Mail)
Donald Trump, the American business magnate, investor, television personality, and author = Vain old man in outlandish overtly straightened toupee in POTUS race is an embarrassment
Image: Miles Gehm
Donald Trump, the American business magnate, investor, television personality, and author = Vain old man in outlandish overtly straightened toupee in POTUS race is an embarrassment
(by Jason Lofts)
Greece crisis: No mercy for Greece in Angela Merkel's Europe
(CBC)
Germany's Angela Dorothea Merkel = Some or all Greek men angry at head
Illustration: DonkeyHotey
Germany's Angela Dorothea Merkel = Some or all Greek men angry at head
(by Adie Pena)
Donald Trump Says He Does Not Owe John McCain Apology
(ABC News)
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump = Unpopular partisan derided and belittled McCain
Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump = Unpopular partisan derided and belittled McCain
(by Adie Pena)
Sunday, July 19, 2015
Throne to the dogs: The Queen and her most loyal companions
(The Daily Express)
Throne to the dogs: The Queen and her most loyal companions = Oh Man! Posh natty eloquent old hen dotes on her corgis, mate!
Photo: Matt Brown
Throne to the dogs: The Queen and her most loyal companions = Oh Man! Posh natty eloquent old hen dotes on her corgis, mate!
(by Maurice Goddard)
Saturday, July 18, 2015
Trump attacks McCain: 'I like people who weren't captured'
(Politico)
"He was a war hero because he was captured," said Mr Donald Trump. "I like people who weren't captured." = "He was a deserter, a dull turd - ass, I know" chirrupped Mr McCain. "We hate people who wear a bad toupee."^
"He was a war hero because he was captured," said Mr Donald Trump. "I like people who weren't captured." = "He was a deserter, a dull turd - ass, I know" chirrupped Mr McCain. "We hate people who wear a bad toupee."^
(by Julian Lofts)
Freeway inferno eats cars in Southern Cal
(KTTV Fox 11)
Freeway inferno eats cars in Southern Cal = Fiery ruin went on as fear latches on, races
Freeway inferno eats cars in Southern Cal = Fiery ruin went on as fear latches on, races
(by Russ Atkinson)
Safari park in Japan builds elephant swimming pool
(BBC)
Safari park in Japan builds elephant swimming pool = A top-rank jumbo animal is dipping -- a spa will freshen
Safari park in Japan builds elephant swimming pool = A top-rank jumbo animal is dipping -- a spa will freshen
(by Maurice Goddard)
Friday, July 17, 2015
Donald Trump Says He'll Spend 'What It Takes' To Win
(Huffington Post)
Donald Trump says he'll spend 'what it takes' to win = That sham stupid swollen donkey! Darn twit leaps!
Donald Trump says he'll spend 'what it takes' to win = That sham stupid swollen donkey! Darn twit leaps!
(by Maurice Goddard)
Wednesday, July 15, 2015
Tuesday, July 14, 2015
Nosferatu director's head stolen from grave in Germany
(The Guardian)
Nosferatu director's head stolen from grave = Foreign horror master's stone vault de-faced
Photo: Alberto Cerriteño
Nosferatu director's head stolen from grave = Foreign horror master's stone vault de-faced
(by Mark McNamara)
Monday, July 13, 2015
Inside Drug Lord 'El Chapo's' 2nd Prison Escape
(ABC News)
Photo: Abd allah Foteih
'El Chapo' escapes from Altiplano = Top coca alpha male flees prison
Photo: Abd allah Foteih
'El Chapo' escapes from Altiplano = Top coca alpha male flees prison
(by Julian Lofts)
Sunday, July 12, 2015
Indian Zoroastrians Are Suing Snoop Dogg for Insulting Their Religion
(Foreign Policy)
Indian Zoroastrians are suing Snoop Dogg for insulting their religion = Oh, no! Parsis are out for zillions, arguing song rendition is denigrating
Indian Zoroastrians are suing Snoop Dogg for insulting their religion = Oh, no! Parsis are out for zillions, arguing song rendition is denigrating
(by Jason Lofts)
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Psychology association colluded with CIA over torture
(The New Zealand Herald)
The American Psychological Association has ~ archaic ethics, also a CIA leaning. Oh my, so stop!
The American Psychological Association has ~ archaic ethics, also a CIA leaning. Oh my, so stop!
(by Julian Lofrs)
Serena Slam: Williams Smashes Her Way to Another Wimbledon Title
(NBC News)
The "Serena Slam" = Amass, then leer. = "See! Net marshal!"
Photo: Carine06
The "Serena Slam" = Amass, then leer. = "See! Net marshal!"
(by Julian Lofts)
Kapow! Pao Goes
(Yahoo! News)
HA! Ellen Pao ousted as the Reddit CEO = Decode that: she alienated user Pool
Photo: Christopher Michel
HA! Ellen Pao ousted as the Reddit CEO = Decode that: she alienated user Pool
(by Russ Atkinson)
Subway, spokesman Jared Fogle "suspend their relationship" amid investigation
(Washington Post)
Subway suspends their spokesman Jared Fogle = Snide star spews up - he blames greasy junk food.
Photo: Anna Hanks
Subway suspends their spokesman Jared Fogle = Snide star spews up - he blames greasy junk food.
(by Julian Lofts)
AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd avoids jail for threatening to kill employee
(The Daily Telegraph)
The AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd avoids jail for threatening to kill his employee = Huh, methamphetamine addict/"killer" is controversially judged or profiled.
Photo: Harry (Howard) Potts
The AC/DC drummer Phil Rudd avoids jail for threatening to kill his employee = Huh, methamphetamine addict/"killer" is controversially judged or profiled.
(by Julian Lofts)
Legendary Egyptian actor Omar Sharif dies at 83
(Al Jazeera)
The actor Michel Demitri Shalhoub alias Omar Sharif = Ooh, macho hirsute film star had charm, real abilities
Photo: David Morris
The actor Michel Demitri Shalhoub alias Omar Sharif = Ooh, macho hirsute film star had charm, real abilities
(by Jason Lofts)
Athens capitulates to creditors
(BBC)
Athens capitulates to creditors = It hasn't placated EEC or tourists
Photo: simon.birt
Athens capitulates to creditors = It hasn't placated EEC or tourists
(by Julian Lofts)
Friday, July 10, 2015
Omar Sharif: Lawrence of Arabia star dies aged 83
(BBC)
Omar Sharif: Lawrence of Arabia star dies = Sherif Ali: Scenario of armed Arabs at war
Photo: startinghere71
Omar Sharif: Lawrence of Arabia star dies = Sherif Ali: Scenario of armed Arabs at war
(by Jason Lofts)
Apple's new ad campaign says "If it's not an iPhone, it's not an iPhone"
(Apple Insider)
"If it's not an iPhone, it's not an iPhone" = Ha! No point if the point is not insane!
Photo: Ape Lad
"If it's not an iPhone, it's not an iPhone" = Ha! No point if the point is not insane!
(by Josiah Winslow)
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
New Sarah Palin book coming in November
(The New Zealand Herald)
"Sweet Freedom: A Devotional" by Sarah Palin = Leader of Tea Party has no enviable wisdom
Illustration: DonkeyHotey
"Sweet Freedom: A Devotional" by Sarah Palin = Leader of Tea Party has no enviable wisdom
(by Julian Lofts)
Tuesday, July 7, 2015
Sarah Palin announces her fourth book will be a collection of biblical 'meditations'
(Daily Mail)
Sarah Palin's new book is titled "Sweet Freedom: A Devotional" = "Wanna vote for me as a likeable, stolid, white President? Do so!"
Illustration: DonkeyHotey
Sarah Palin's new book is titled "Sweet Freedom: A Devotional" = "Wanna vote for me as a likeable, stolid, white President? Do so!"
(by Julian Lofts)
Monday, July 6, 2015
Edward Snowden plea deal with US a possibility, says Eric Holder
(The Times)
Edward Snowden plea deal with US a possibility, says Eric Holder = Sly whistle-blower analysed - decided how to disappear in Russia
Illustration: DonkeyHotey
Edward Snowden plea deal with US a possibility, says Eric Holder = Sly whistle-blower analysed - decided how to disappear in Russia
(by Mark McNamara)
2016 Republican Presidential Candidates
| 1. John Ellis Bush | = | Hell, I shun jobs |
| 2. Benjamin Solomon Carson | = | Men, I can loan *morons* jobs! |
| 3. Christopher James Christie | = | Those sharp critics jeer him |
| 4. Rafael Edward Cruz | = | Dreadful war craze |
| 5. Mark Whitty Everson | = | Very mistaken worth |
| 6. Cara Carleton Fiorina | = | A fair concern to a liar |
| 7. Lindsey Olin Graham | = | Ah, I'm one sly darling |
| 8. Michael Dale Huckabee | = | Ace? Ha! Dumb like a leech |
| 9. Piyush "Bobby" Jindal | = | I'd buy job by his plan |
| 10. John Richard Kasich | = | Join hard, rich hacks |
| 11. George Elmer Pataki | = | Me? I kept a larger ego |
| 12. Randal Howard Paul | = | A hard, loud war plan |
| 13. Richard "Rick" Perry | = | Err...a dry, rich prick |
| 14. Marco Antonio Rubio | = | O, a moronic brain! Out! |
| 15. Richard John Santorum | = | Ah! Disjunct horror, man! |
| 16. Donald John Trump Senior | = | Damn old pro joins the run |
| 17. Scott Walker | = | Act! Let's work! |
Anagram: Josiah Winslow, Caricatures: DonkeyHotey
Greek Finance Minister Yanis Varoufakis resigns
(Al Jazeera)
Greece's finance minister Yanis Varoufakis has resigned = In arrears, his vision is, "Germany can get fucked! Ease fines!"
Photo: Brookings Institution
Greece's finance minister Yanis Varoufakis has resigned = In arrears, his vision is, "Germany can get fucked! Ease fines!"
(by Julian Lofts)
Sunday, July 5, 2015
Saturday, July 4, 2015
Wimbledon 2015: A look back at last five men's singles Championships
(India.com)
Photo: Paula Funnell
|
This year's Wimbledon men's singles seeds: 1 Novak Djokovic 2 Roger Federer 3 Andy Murray 4 Stan Wawrinka 5 Kei Nishikori 6 Tomas Berdych 7 Milos Raonic 8 David Ferrer 9 Marin Cilic 10 Rafael Nadal | = |
1 Skinny Serbian flimflammer 2 Admired Swiss ace endorses Nike 3 UK 4 Hairy introvertive boring killjoy 5 Solid career 6 Calm adversary 7 Who? 8 Disregarded (no show) 9 Croatian 10 Nicknamed Rafa |
(by Jason Lofts)
Friday, July 3, 2015
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